Step Fathers

If you are looking to catch a break as a step father, that may not be likely. If your step children have a father to compare you to, they will do just that. The most detrimental thing you can do to yourself and the relationship with your stepchildren is to try and compete with their biological father.

If you are not successful as their father, you will hear about it. If you are more wealthy than their father, they'll either consider you showy or try their best to take advantage of it.

Your goal as a step father should never be to make the children like you more than their biological father. Referring to their father as "no good" does not give you any bonus points either. You should never belittle their father, whether he is a 'dead beat' or not.

Your main goals should be to support their mother in any way possible, to encourage and be there for your step children (certainly not at the expense of any of your biological children), and provide for your new family as best as you can. Even if your step children do not acknowledge your efforts, rest assured that your wife does. She will appreciate the fact that you are accepting the duties of a father to her children.

One thing to keep in mind regarding your step children is that you should never feel too intimidated to speak your mind in love. If any child is disrespectful to you or constantly has an attitude with you, it is your right as their parent, biological or not, as long as you are taking on the duties of a father, to correct him or her. None of the children have to like you, and quite honestly, some of them may not, but they are required to respect you, as an adult and their mother's husband, if nothing else.

For more tips and articles on being a step father, visit the links below.

http://www.indiaparenting.com/raisingchild/data/raisingchild081.shtml

http://www.aish.com/family/heart/Step-Fathers_Day.asp

http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/relationships/74652

http://www.fathers.com/articles/cat.asp?cat=8

http://www.stepfamily.asn.au/cgi-bin/index.cgi?action=viewnews&id=522